Why I Hate Martha Stewart

Okay. Technically, she’s not a “celebrity chef,” per se, but she’s famous. And she cooks. And she’s on TV. But! She doesn’t have a restaurant with tiny portions at exorbitant prices, which, therefore, doesn’t make her an official “chef.”

But because she’s famous and cooks, she’s landed on my “Celebrity Chefs” page. But I hate her. Why?

It all began in the 1930s.

No, I’m not that old. Although there are those who would argue the fact. But in the 1930s, there was a Depression going on. People couldn’t find jobs. People didn’t have enough to eat. Family farms were shutting down. Gasoline was exorbitant in price. Hmm. …… Any resemblance to today’s world is purely factual and not a coincidence. But I digress.

If you filled your gas tank during that time, you often received a gift from the gas station. It may have been green or blue chip stamps. It may have been coupons. It may have been glass kitchen items, ceramic or metal tchatkes, or plastic (that newfangled stuff) items. In this particular case, it was glass. A milky green opaque glass called Jadeite.

Nearly twenty years ago, I was introduced to Jadeite by a co-worker who collected that and other Depression-era glass. I fell in love Jadeite and began collecting a few pieces. Years later, after my divorce and after I had established a pretty nice life for myself and my three children, I would pick up a piece every now and then. I was a “sort of” collector. As a result, I had a few nice pieces that I’ve treasured over the years, including a ***perfect*** Sunkist orange juice reamer that I found at a garage sale (!!!!!!) for $1.00. That is not a typo. And I can only imagine what it’s worth now.

Then along comes that #*&($#& Martha Stewart and her pre-prison show.

At first, I didn’t like her at all. Then one holiday season, she made Eggnog. I mean, REAL Eggnog. With lots of eggs, heavy cream, sugar, vanilla, and some very serious NOG. She added brandy, bourbon, and rum. In ONE recipe. I LIKED Martha. Especially since she sipped it in front of the camera. The woman had cojones.

Then I began to notice something interesting. In her TV kitchen, she had lots of Jadeite in the glass-front cabinets. And apparently every housewife in America was inquiring about that lovely milky green glass that was in Martha’s cabinets. And the producers probably told them. It’s Jadeite, of course!

And A W A Y Y Y went the prices. Suddenly I, as a regular person trying to add bits and pieces to a small,

much loved collection, was unable to continue to collect because the prices soared ridiculously out of reach.

Why couldn’t she have become enamored of say, Melamine??? Did it *have* to be Jadeite?!?

So that’s why I hate Martha Stewart. In spite of her, um, *incident* with the legals, the prices haven’t changed much. At least not downward. I still can’t afford the pieces I’d like. And that means that Martha has done little to raise my confidence. Not that she cares. Oh well. I’m just not feelin’ the love.

On the not-so-serious side, however, I’ve found Martha to be completely entertaining, even if I’m not a happy housewife or a dedicated crafter. Martha, who was portrayed by Cybil Shepard in a movie, Martha, Inc., has built an incredible empire in spite of her brush with the law. While she is said to be a real, um, *difficult* person to deal with, it’s pretty hard to argue with her success. She has my admiration, even if she’s cornered the Jadeite market.

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